H.M.S Pinafore Duo Impromptu created by Paul and Annie Rose

Paul Josh

Buttercup Captain Corcocan

Sir Joseph Josephine

Rafe Hebe

Josh and Paul are back to back Paul in front and Josh behind, Paul lifts his head up and says

Captain: In a socitety where rank is everything, in 19^th century Great Britain, when Queen Victoria sits on her throne, join us aboard Gilbert and Sullivan’s ship, the H.M.S Pinafore of which I am the Captain, and discover whether or not in the words of…

Sir Jo: The Admiralty’s First Lord Sir Joseph Porter K.C.B knight Commander of Bath, now where were we, a a… oh yes discover whether or not love indeed levels all ranks.

Paul: From Gilbert and Sullivan’s 1878 operetta, H.M.S Pinafore, adapted and arranged by M.J Arnold c. 1979. (84 words) (35.)

Captain: Little Buttercup! A plump and pleasing person.

Buttercup: Sir you are sad. Tell me what troubles you.

Captain: My daughter Josephine, the fairest flower that ever bloomed in a noble garden, is sought in marriage by Sir Joseph Porter, our Admiralty’s First Lord, but for some reason, she does not take kindly to it.

Buttercup: Ah, poor Sir Joseph. I know only too well the sorrow of a heart that loves in vain. But see, here comes your most attractive daughter. I go. Farewell.

Captain: A (very) plump and pleasing person (35)

Josephine: Sighs Sighs My father tells me to look my best today for Sir. Joseph Porter will be here to claim my promised hand, I cannot love him, for my heart is already given to Rafe, a humble sailor on board my father’s ship. With resolve Though I carry my love to the grave, (thinking looking down ) (with resolve)I am my father’s (2 words) daughter (holding hand to chest), Rafe must never know. Oh Sir Joseph’s Barge approaches and with him his crowd of cousins sisters and aunts that follow him wherever he goes…

Enter Sir Joseph and his crowd of cousins sisters and aunts (27 sec.)

{92 sec.}

Sings and dances to “When I was a lad” with Joshua dancing as cousins sisters and Aunts

(80 sec.) {172 sec.}

Joshua becomes Captain and starts Clapping at end of song

Sir Joseph: You have a remarkably fine crew, Captain Corkscrew.

El Capitan: It’s Corcoran, Sir.

Sir Joseph: (Don’t contradict me)

Captain: (Sorry), Sir.

Sir Joseph: A British sailor is a splendid fellow.

Captain: A splendid fellow indeed, Sir Joseph.

Sir Joseph: I hope you treat your crew kindly, Captain Corcoran.

Captain: Indeed I hope so, Sir Joseph.

Sir Joseph: No bullying I trust no strong language of any kind, eh?

Captain: Oh, never, Sir Joseph.

Sir Joseph: What, never???

Captain: Well!!! Hardly ever, Sir Joseph.

Sir Joseph: I desire that splendid Seaman to come forth.

Ralph: Ralph Rackstraw, (at your service)

Sir Joseph: You’re a remarkably fine fellow.

Ralph: Yes, your honor.

Sir Joseph: And first rate seaman, I’ll be bound.

Ralph: There’s not a finer seaman in the navy, though I say it, who shouldn’t.

Sir Joseph: Not at all, proper self respect, nothing more. I believe in the principle that British sailor is any man’s equal……excepting mine.

Sir Joseph: Now Captain Corcoran, a word in your cabin on a tender and sentimental subject, (whisper) Josephine. Exit remains Ralph Rackstraw

(60 Sec.)

{232 sec.}

Ralph: Sir Joseph says that a British sailor is any man’s equal, excepting his. Then my minds made up, I’ll speak to the Captain’s daughter and tell her like an honest man the honest love I have for her.

Josephine: It is useless… Sir Joseph’s attentions nauseate me, I know he is a truly great and good man for he told me so himself. (surprised) Ralph Rackstraw!!

Ralph: Aye lady.

Josephine: (aside) Oh if I dared! . . .but no the thought is madness.

Ralph: (hesitating) Josephine…

Josephine: (indignantly) Sir!

Ralph: (proudly) Josephine I am a British sailor and I love you.

Josephine: Sir this audacity! (aside, overcome with emotion) Oh my heart my beating heart! (to Ralph) Sir you forget the difference in our ranks. Lower your eyes before your Captain’s daughter! (closes fan and points to him as he lowers his head) (50 sec.)

{282 sec.}

Refrain Audacious Tar… remember what you are… (1 Line)

To audience in despair Oh, (if only) he were more highly born, or I more lowly! (Swoons) (15 sec.)

{297 sec}

Ralph: (pouting) She rejects me! ( in disbelief to himself) She tells of the difference in our ranks. (Thinking pacing) Oh! My heart is breaking. Repeats Be warned all who love in rank above you! I am taking leave of life. Josephine, When I am gone, please (remember) that as I died I loved you well. (He places the gun to his head) Josephine wakes up as he is saying…For (you dear) Josephine, I fall!

Josephine: Stop!! Stop!!! I love you!

Ralph: This very night we will steal ashore.

Josephine: A clergyman will make us one. (22 sec.) {319 Sec.}

Paul: Meanwhile Captain Corcoran is worried about being court martialed by The Admiral who is not getting very far in winning his daughter’s affections.

---

The “plump and pleasing” Buttercup comes to comfort him.

(10 sec.)

{329}

Captain: looks nervous and worried Ah! Little Buttercup, still on board? That is not quite right, little one. It would have been better to have gone on shore at dusk.

Buttercup: True dear Captain, but the thought of your sad, pale face seemed to chain me to the ship. I would like to see you smile before I go. (flirty)

Captain: Ah little Buttercup I fear it will be long before I am cheerful again, for misfortunes crowd upon me, and all my old friends seemed to have turned against me.

Buttercup: Oh… not all dear Captain. Not (all) your dear friends? (bats eyes)

Captain: Yes, for you have been true to me. (aside) if I ever gave my heart again, I think it would to be to such a one as this. (with resolve to her to her) I am touched to the heart by your regard for me and were we differently situated, I think I could have returned it, but as it is I fear I can never be more to you than a friend…

Buttercup: I understand!(outraged) You hold aloof from me because you are rich and lofty, and I poor and lowly. But take care! There is a change in store for you! (exits) (35 sec.)

{364 sec}

Captain: To what new misery can she be referring? Time alone will tell.

(Enter Sir Joseph) Sir Joseph! (Bows)

Sir Joseph: Captain Corcoran, I am much disappointed with your daughter. In fact, I don’t think she will do.

Captain: She won’t do, Sir Joseph?

Sir Joseph: I’m afraid not. The fact is, that although I’ve urged my suit, I have done so with out success. How do you account for this?

Captain: Really Sir Joseph, I hardly know. Perhaps your exalted rank dazzles her.

Sir Joseph: That is really a very sensible suggestion, and gives you more knowledge of human nature than I had given you credit for.

Captain: See, she comes. If your lordship would kindly reason with her and assure her, officially, that it is a standing rule at the Admiralty that love levels all ranks….

Sir Joseph: I will adopt your suggestion. But she is here. (30 sec.)

{417 sec.}

Sir Joseph: Madam, it has been suggested to me that you are dazzled by my rank. I desire to express to you, officially, that your hesitation is uncalled for.

Josephine: Oh, then your Lordship is of the opinion that the high and the lowly may be truly happy together provided that they truly love one another?

Sir Joseph: Madam, I desire to express to you, officially, my opinion that Love is a platform upon which all ranks meet.

Joshua (as Captain, starts to clap switches back to Josephine

Josephine: Father!!

Joshua as the captain composes himself

Josephine: Thank you sir Joseph, I did hesitate, but I will hesitate no longer,

(aside)He little thinks how well he has pleaded Ralph’s cause. (35 sec.)

{452 sec.}

Paul as narrator: (That very night Rafe and Josephine are about to elope when they are happened upon by the Captain and The Admiral)

Ralph and Josephine sing in unison: Carefully on tip-toe stealing, breathing gently as we may, every step with cautious feeling we will gently steal away….. (they both gasp At the sight of the captain and Sir Joseph) (12 sec.)

{464 sec.}

Captain: Little daughter of mine, where are you going?

Sir Joseph: What happens here? Explain this demonstration! What? This common sailor about to elope with my promised bride? What horrible presumption! Seize him!

Pauls acts out being seized as Ralph

Josephine: Oh Sir Joseph, spare him! For I love him tenderly….(clings)

Sir Joseph: Pray don’t. Throw him in chains and take him away! Josephine, I cannot tell the distress I feel at this painful revelation, you whom I honored in seeking in marriage, the daughter of a captain!

Buttercup: Wait! I have something to say!

Sir Joseph: You???

Captain: You??

Josephine: You??

Buttercup: Yes, I (35 sec.) {499 sec.}

A many years ago, How many I won’t how many mention two tiny tender babes, were left to my attention, now of these tender babes one was of low condition the other nobly born a regular patrician, Oh bitter is my cup how ever could I do it, I mixed those children up, and not a creature knew it, in time each little waif forsook his foster mother, the well born babe was Ralph your captain was the other. Some kind of dancing chorus thing with Josh

(sings) (25 sec.)

{524sec.} Sir Joseph: then am I to understand that Captain Corcoran and Ralph were exchanged as children? …. That Ralph is really the Captain and the Captain is really Ralph.

Buttercup: That is the idea I intended to express, officially

Sir Joseph: So, Captain Corkscrew

Captain: It’s Corcoran, Sir

Sir Joseph: Don’t contradict me!

Captain: Sorry, Sir

Sir Joseph: It seems that you were Ralph and Ralph was you.

Corcoran: So it seems your honor.

Sir Joseph: Well, I need not tell you that after this change in your condition, A marriage with your daughter will be out of the question.

Corcoran: Don’t say that Sir Joseph…(reminding him), Love levels all ranks.

Sir Joseph: It does, but it does not level them as much as that! Here Ralph Rackstraw take her and mind you treat her kindly.

Ralph and Josephine: Oh bliss! Oh Rapture!

Corcoran and Buttercup: Oh Rapture! Oh bliss!

Ralph and Josephine: Tomorrow morn our vows be plighted

Corcoran and Buttercup: Two loving pairs on the same day united.

Sir Joseph: Love indeed, levels all ranks.

(50 sec.)

{574 sec.}

9 min. 34 seconds `